new health week 1

I decided to give up gluten, dairy and sugar for the new year. I feel like shit all the time and have about 60lbs to lose. (I lost it about six years ago, but it found me again. I think this time I'm going to have to hide a little harder.) Yeah, fun. Being the idiot I am, I bought tons of crap to eat for New Year's Eve. I forgot to buy decent stuff to eat the next day and I didn't finish all the cheese dip and pretzels from the day before, so I finished that off on what was supposed to be my first day. *shrugs* I wobble when I wiggle, can barely stand up without OTC pain meds, and a lot of them, and I've been farting a lot. Oh yes, I've got some zits the size of dimes going on. WooHoo!! Looking and feeling good!! Or not. Two Aleve and four Motrin is standard, and allows me to hobble about a bit. I wake up choking on phlegm nightly.

Day 2: I decided that I'm going to wait to give up my beloved Cherry Pepsi. It helps get rid of migraines, blah, blah, fucking blah. Ate properly all day. Vegan Mac & Cheese with brown rice pasta for dinner. Wasn't crazy about it, so I only had a little. Will avoid the yellow mustard in the recipe next time. Remembered to take Aleve and Motrin before the pain was ridiculous.

Day 3: Forgot to take Motrin and Aleve. Read an article in which PepsiCo states that mice couldn't be found whole in cans of their soda because they'd melt into goo. Eeeewwww. Drank a few more sips, and put it down, disgusted. The bubbles were getting on my nerves, so I finished it, but that was my only Pepsi of the day. Pain was ridiculous so I had two left over hard pretzels. Decided going vegan and all the other shit was too much, had organic grass fed chip steak for dinner. Blech. Maybe I will avoid beef. Sprouted wheat rolls don't count, right? Had three pieces of leftover candy around 10:00, but I'm still doing better than usual.

Day 4: woke up.with a headache. Must remember to take pain meds before I give in and eat away the pain. Ugh. No pain killers will make this plague better. Yuck. Sick. Must not give in, may as well get detox symptoms over with while I'm sick, right? Ate pretzels and drank soda. Fun.

Day 5: feel almost human again. No soda in the house, so that's good. Rice w/seaweed and ume plum vinegar. Tofu w/avocado and spinach on sprouted wheat. Pepperoni. Tongue split at the tip. Kinda like a big paper cut. Ouch. No sugar. Head killing me. Blech. Blech. Blech.

Day 6: I only got about three hours of sleep last night, but I made it all day yesterday without cheating. Surprisingly, I feel better than I have all week. In the midst of my painful tossing and turning, I realized that if I cheat, all that pain and annoyance will be for nothing and I'll start back at square one again. That idea doesn't sound appealing, at all. Also helping this is a severe money shortage. I can't buy soda if I wanted to, we're that damn broke right now. Ugh. Good thing we have lots of healthy food in the house, right? Right? Yeah. I know. I'm not buying it either. WooHoo!! Made it through today without cheats too!! I *did* eat a potato with chicken (which is a no-no for my son), and I made pan fried popcorn chicken (with organic brown rice coating), but fuck, was it delicious. Meat will be cut out too, I just need to eat something in the transitional phase. At this point, I fully realize how dumb it would be to cheat now. Two whole days without doesn't sound that impressive, until you try to do it. Bitches who do it all the time must be fucking crazy. Right, cuz I'm not aiming for all the time myself. *sigh* Just call me a crazy bitch. Hopefully I'll at least be a hot crazy bitch soon enough. I need to get laid.

Day 7. Only four hours of sleep again, but I can walk, so that's good. Starting to run out of food that looks appealing and is easy to grab, but I made it without cheats. Now if I can just find a good gluten free pretzel recipe, I think I'll be set. Might try making rice crackers tomorrow. Fun stuff. Hopefully I can smell things properly soon, I'm having a hard time cooking without my nose. Oooh, just realized I didn't take any pain meds today. Huh. Will you look at that? Uh, 3 days down, who the hell knows how many more to go.