Positive Thinking

For awhile I was having a really rough time even getting up in the mornings. I spent a lot of time wishing I would just go to sleep and never wake up again. Then, fate threw a few little crumbs my way. I reached for them with both hands, desperately trying to pull myself back towards hope, towards life. I latched on to these crumbs, hoping they would turn into a whole meal. I decided that if I used the power of positive thinking, they could become whole meals, a whole new life.

So, they're still crumbs, and I'm still starving. (not literally, of course)

These crumbs lasted damn near three months.

Now family issues have turned this possible meal back into something to be swept away and discarded. I find myself feeling foolish for believing I could make something out of nothing. I feel the lack of support and warmth throughout me. I feel stupid for even thinking I could make it better.

I have to stop caring about these people who have proved time and time again, well, it doesn't really matter what they've proved. Or maybe it "shouldn't" matter. I have to stop being angry and I have to stop giving them the power to take away my hope. I just need to figure out how to do it soon.