The shock of his death rattled us all somewhere so deep we kept trying to rebury the pain, afraid that if it was allowed to surface, it would never again be content simmering deep within the confines of our hearts. Or maybe that was just me and I'm projecting, but I don't think so. When the guy who occasionally became the butt of "liver failure" jokes, partially out of concern, but mostly because we all expected him to be there forever, had a lethal heart attack out of nowhere at the ripe "old" age of thirty, pause was given. Questions concerning who dies and when and why bubbled into our brains.
Beyond and behind the immediate grief came creeping thoughts like "It could have just as easily been me. We ate Burger King and drank together and passed out on the same wretched sofa every day for years. Hell, he paid for me to do that for years." The future I was never sure I wanted no longer seemed to be a given. With his death, at least a few of us pondered our own lives more than we ever had before.
Trifecta's word this week is "wretched" and I seriously think I broke my brain. I can't even think of a title.
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This is really beautifully done. Your opening line is lovely and then the shock of learning this is a 30YO. You've so well portrayed a universal theme - Great read.
ReplyDeleteThank you. He was the old man in the crowd, by a whopping four years. Those years seemed so crucial when time was judged by when you reached legal drinking age.
DeleteI'm sorry because it seems like this is a non-fictional lose. My sympathy.
ReplyDeleteBut as for the writing, it's great. I really like that you've captured the wretchedness of everyone left behind in the wake if his death. It's touching and sad and that's part of the human condition. so, if you're going to wrote about it, might as well do it like you have here, with honesty and bravery.
Thank you. I lack fictional skills and the eleven year anniversary was this week, so it's not so raw any more, but on my mind. Knowing that I can think of five people who changed their lives for the better after his passing helps too. :)
DeleteThat is so crazy.
ReplyDeleteHe died working in the bar that was our home away from home. One of the other crazy things involved was that a guy who was more than an acquaintance, but not really close to any of us was working with him, saw him fall and started giving him CPR. It was the second time in his life he had to administer it and failed. That's fucked up.
DeleteWow, brings to mind a story my mom told me, of her co-workers fiance (an athletic soccer player) dropping dead of a heart attack at 25. He was playing soccer and then boom, down and gone.
ReplyDeleteYou just never know.
Ouch. That's horrible. We could at least tell ourselves, "Well, he did have this thing where he wouldn't eat any vegetable, ever, unless it was fried, I'm not that bad. (Am I?)"
DeleteNo, you never do. :/
"we kept trying to rebury the pain" -- what an emotional sentence. That in conjunction with a death is particularly moving.
ReplyDeletehttp://jesterqueen.com
Thanks. I was trying to go somewhere else with "wretched", but got lost. I'm glad some of it didn't wander too far. :)
DeleteThanks for joining up, Megan. The other comments have already highlighted how strong this piece is and I agree. I love your line 'Questions concerning who dies and when and why bubbled into our brains' --it's an inevitable reaction to the death of someone so young and someone so close. I also like how you end the piece on a slightly more positive note -- his death, though tragic, was not wasted on those he left behind.
ReplyDeleteHope to see you for the weekend challenge as well.
We all _got_ wasted for a week, but yes, it did cause us to change things for the better. :). Thanks.
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