Finally, I Think

I met him in a small bar half a block from his apartment. My friend was involved with his friend, and she had some sort of question she wanted answered, so she went to ask Chris. I went along. One of my high school friends was there, and wasted, blathering on and on and on about his steroid use while the friend who brought me there asked Chris her questions. She was at a table facing him, back toward me. I was one table behind them, also facing him.

I caught his eye, and it was like you could see the crackle in the air. While I was pretending to listen to drunken foolishness, my eyes kept finding his and we eventually started making goofy faces at each other. After we left, I asked my friend about him. She kind of wrinkled her nose, but said she'd ask her guy about him. Her guy responded that he normally wouldn't set anyone up with Chris, but if I was of rather questionable moral fiber, he'd make an exception. I'm trying to ignore how Todd should've stuck to his guns.

A few weeks before I first saw Chris, I had landed in one of those wacko situations I was so adept at finding. I woke up naked, not knowing where I was or who was lying next to me. Instead of kicking my ass out for a walk of shame, the guy wanted more. Huh. Turned out he was pretty good. Also turned out he needed to leave to sign away parental rights to his infant son, as his 17 year old ex-girlfriend was getting ready to move and her grandparents had convinced him he needed to do so in order for the baby to be enrolled in day care, and then later, school. Poor guy believed that shit and signed because he actually cared for the baby's well-being. Anyway, I stayed there while he signed away his firstborn son, and fucked him again when he got back.

I was starting to sober up, and realized it was like 6PM, so I walked the mile or so to find my car, fully expecting to never see the guy again. That's not how it turned out. I somehow allowed myself to get sucked into his messy life. He wasn't a dick, but he was, um, not generally suited for daily living. Most people would call him a loser, but I feel guilty about even saying that much. He was kind and caring, and all those years of watching porn constantly had taught him some nice tricks. He had some pretty serious anxiety problems that, combined with his lack of a job, meant he rarely went out. Somehow I found myself agreeing to visit him before or after the bar. One time I even skipped the bar and brought my daughter over to play with his daughter, who was the same age. We ended up spending the night, and after the girls went to sleep, we drank while playing board games. I fell and gave myself an elbow full of rug burn from hell and didn't even have sex that night. I vaguely remember ranting about that.

The rug burn night happened several nights before I ended up going on a group date with Chris. I had spent the night at the girl who knew Chris' house, and had brought the accidental almost boyfriend along. She got a call inviting us to a drive in movie with a group of people, of whom Chris was the only single one. I took Jay home, and ended up getting back during the three hours a year my parents' house is inaccessible, thanks to a firetruck parade. I had to call another friend to come get me and take me to the mall for clothes to wear. (He bought them too.) Then my friend gave me a ride to the drive in, where everyone else was already waiting.

Eh, I'm done now.