jason

Before I partied and flunked out of an expensive collegeuniversity, I went to a cheap college. There, I actually made Dean's List and did things like attend classes. Weird, I know. My second semester at that college, which happened to be a Fall semester, I met my first college crush. He was in my chemistry class, (convenient) which met four days a week. He was older than I, and he was finishing his Associate's Degree that semester. He was tall and kind of gangly looking, with beautiful hair. His hair was shoulder length with corkscrew curls. I loved his hair.

During the first few classes we ended up sitting in the same general area of the room. After a week or so, we started chatting. We moved a little closer to each other, seat wise. Then we moved to adjacent seats at a long table, but kept more than the usual amount of distance between the seats. Slowly, arms and legs would reach toward the other, and by the end of the semester, we sat huddled together, cozily ignoring the stupid bitch who couldn't teach to save her life. Well, I felt that way anyway. For all I know, he was pissed off that I was ruining his concentration.

The catty girls in class had a field day with us. Jason's lab partner was the first person in the class to speak to me. He was a pretty blond, athletic guy, and apparently the girls had a crush on him. He was also not so bright, so I helped him with some stuff. The girls were pissed that he was speaking to me instead of them. When I showed no interest whatsoever in pretty boy, but got closer and closer to the older hippie looking guy, they had some nice things to say. "I can't believe he still talks to her, and she talks to that other guy instead." was one of the nicer things I remember hearing. *shrugs*

The class was finished at the beginning of a school-wide lunch break. Eventually Jason and I spent this hour together almost every week. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he just stuck around to spend time with me. I remember feeling rather like a puppy following him at first. I also remember the event that changed our connection somehow, and made me feel like he wanted me there.

My great grandmother died that semester. She was one of the few people in my family whose company I have ever enjoyed. We were very close when I was younger, but as I became a teenager, I saw her less often. Instead of staying home the day she died, I went to class. I wasn't really aware of any other options, I guess. I was very quiet and distant during chemistry, and instead of following Jason outside for lunch, I went to a rarely used hallway and sat down against the wall. Jason followed me, and sat down next to me. He asked what was wrong. I couldn't respond, other than to give him a tight, closed-lipped shake of my head. I wasn't going to cry in general. I was certainly not going to do it in front of him.

He put his book bag on the floor near me, and motioned for me to lie down and put my head on it. I did. He put his face on the floor next to mine, but with his body stretched in the opposite direction, saying nothing. Still fighting the tears, I eventually choked out that she had died. As I was lying there on the stained gray indoor/outdoor carpeting in a dimly lit hallway, a tear escaped. I furiously tried to hide it. He looked at me, and a few more leaked out, unbidden. I was starting to get frantic. He reached over, and gently wiped the tears from my face with his thumb, quietly telling me that it was OK to cry. I remember looking in his eyes, initially wanting to argue that it was not OK, but instead I thanked him quietly.

I went to the college about six months ago and was sad to see that hallway has been transformed. It's now surely well traveled, for a cafe has been installed, and the dank dark carpeting and bad lighting have been replaced by mauve and cream decorative tiles and bright lights.

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I wrote this nearly five years ago. (I revised it tonight slightly so some spots made more sense and I fixed verb tense a few times.) The guy in my house with a job has been ill for nearly a month now, with one of those things that makes Western medicine doctors kinda throw their hands in the air and concede defeat. I looked up acupuncture in my area, and guess who is one of two practitioners? Yup. Jason.